It's Easy Not To Make Sense
by TheBlueSheep
Summary: A little after the Four Devas arc Gintoki steps into Snack Otose.


**Disclaimer:** No.

**Rating:** T

**Pairings: **None

**Author's notes: **This is a one-shot without any deeper meaning written to procrastinate with the things I should really be doing right now. I got the idea from a Tumblr post I found a little while ago and felt like writing about it a little.

* * *

"Yo Granny," Gintoki greeted as he stepped into the bar when it was already dark, the stars shimmering in the clear sky like drops of molten silver on a piece of black velvet. The bar was technically already closed and usually Otose would've scolded him and probably beaten the shit out of him while kicking him out of the bar, but decided to let him be this time. She was just not feeling like beating anyone into oblivion just yet. She could make Tama do it, but after a glimpse at the bandages mostly hidden under his clothes and to his pale exhausted face with dark shadows around his eyes, she could tell he was not there just to piss her off again, either.

He probably couldn't sleep just like all those years ago after she had just found him behind her husband's gravestone barely clinging on to his life. She saved him by bringing him back to the bar with her and giving him a decent meal he probably hadn't had for a while. Only a few hours after that, of course, he'd developed a fever that almost killed him again, but not until he could save her in turn from a passer-by robber with a broken mind and a misused katana. The katana was broken shortly after, so in the end the robber walked away with a broken mind, a broken katana, and a broken nose.

Otose couldn't blame him for not being able to sleep, though. She was actually glad she didn't remember much of that horrible night. She did remember that it had rained, she had been cold, and the pain she had felt had been really close to unbearable as she leaned against the very same stone she'd found him lumped against back then.

She had heard them fighting while barely holding on to her consciousness. She didn't know why she wanted neither one of them winning, but of course she didn't get her wish. She couldn't remember seeing Gintoki ever fight with such anger. He always fought with a clear mind and without hate only to protect, but that time he fought with pure fury and that made him lose. Jirochou had beat him to a pulp and simply walked away.

Everything had been quiet for a while, then she heard someone breathing harshly close by, calling out to her, and she wanted to answer, but couldn't no matter how much she wanted to tell him it was going to be all right. She remembered him leaning in close to try to listen the faint sound of life her heart still gave off and then feeling something wet, but warm nevertheless being draped over her shoulders. After that she was moved and the pain had covered every other sensation she had until she could feel nothing else.

The next thing she came aware of was that although her mind was slow - as if covered with a thick layer of fog - the pain had been more distant. She must have been transported to a hospital or something where she was pumped to the brink with anaesthetics. Then she had heard him. He was yelling at the doctors, assuring them that he was fine, and to make sure she would survive instead. He hadn't sounded fine, though. His voice was cracking and as much as she made out from what the doctors were saying, he was about to fall over himself.

But before she could say anything or even open her eyes, the warm - if somewhat discomforting - black blanket of unconsciousness covered her again.

As always, after the whole incident was finally over he had been injured worse than any of them, but, as always, he was still the first one to make his escape from the hospital. So when Otose made it back the day before yesterday and opened up the bar today, Gintoki had been home for five days already. Otose would've put all his energy on to his youth, but he was nearing 30 and had sustained by far the highest number of near mortal injuries in his past than any other person she knew, so that couldn't be quite right. If asked, he'd say that it was the calcium in his beloved strawberry milk that kept him going, but that was just ridiculous. If asked seriously enough, he'd say that no matter how beat up his body was, as long as his soul was still glimmering he would keep on fighting, and that made just as little sense. She would respect his reason, though, even if she didn't understand it. Must be some kind of a samurai thing.

It wasn't his body she was the most worried about, anyway. Even back then when Gintoki was recovering from his fever way too slowly, she was worried about something else. To most people who didn't care to take a closer look or lacked the skill to look right through the thick mask he was always wearing, he looked like a simple lazy uncaring idiot, but Otose could see him always trying to protect everyone even when they didn't really need it. So when he couldn't protect the one person he'd _promised _to, he nearly fell apart. Of course, he stayed standing, strong as always, because there were other people who needed that of him, but now that the incident was over, he had had to let go and that probably brought along a lot of sleepless nights.

So, without saying another word, she poured sake into a glass and slid it down the counter. He caught it and downed the sake without ceremony. She walked around the counter and sat down next to him, pouring him another glass. Now he took his time with the sake and sipped it carefully, enjoying the flavour.

"How's your body holding up?" he asked.

"I'm all right," she answered. She was actually pretty tired and all she wanted was to go to bed, but Gintoki needed her right now. "How are you holding up?"

"I'm fine," he said.

"I didn't mean your body."

"I'm fine," he lied.

She poured him another.

"You're awfully generous tonight," he remarked. "Please tell me you don't have any vicious plans with this like demanding triple rent or something."

"It's okay," she said. "Catherine's out buying cigarettes right now and Tama's in the kitchen doing something. I don't think I want to know what."

He looked at her for a moment, his eyes reflecting every inch of the pain he had been hiding inside until then, and then he lumped down onto the counter, leaning his forehead against the cold wood and bringing his arms around his head. And just like that he completely broke down. His shoulders shook as he sobbed silently. Otose just slid her hand reassuringly along his back.

"I... I can't take this," he said after a while. "I made a promise and I... broke it. I did it all over again. I... I broke it again. I can't take this."

"But you didn't break it," Otose said quietly. She didn't really want to know what he meant by _'again'_. "We're all still alive and well. You kept your promise."

"I should've been there," he said, this time angry. "I should've been there and stopped it all before it even started. I should've..."

"There was nothing you could do anyway. If you'd been there from the start he would've killed you."

"I thought..." he whispered almost inaudibly. "I thought you were dead. Back then... I know he didn't aim to kill, but... I thought... I don't... I really don't know what I would've done if... And if they had been hurt, too... I..."

"You're still as stupid as always," she said simply. "I thought that maybe you would grow smarter as you get older, but guess I was a fool to hope for that." He looked up. There were tears streaming down his cheeks. She hadn't seen this happening for years. "Don't write me off just yet simply because I'm old. There's no way I would die from something like this. And those kids are strong. They wouldn't get injured because they know that would hurt you more than anything else. They care about you just as much you care about them and we will all protect you just as you protect us. Don't ever forget that."

"I don't get it," he sniffled. He really was just like a little kid sometimes. "Why would anyone..."

"Because you're just as important to us as we are to you. Other people can have feelings too, you know. They can care without a bigger reason too."

"It makes no sense," he lowered his head again.

"You're usually the one who makes no sense so why won't you give the others a chance to do that as well?"

He smiled a little. "Yeah. Guess I should. Heh, damn idiots."

She thonked him lightly against his messy silver hair. "Don't call me an idiot. I am older and therefore wiser."

"Yeah, sure, whatever," he smiled wider and dried his face into the sleeve of his yukata.

"What? You don't believe me? Maybe I _should_ triple your rent after all," she said and this time Gintoki really laughed. Tripling his rent would have made absolutely no difference anyway.

"Otose-sama, I have succeeded in baking you a pie," Tama stepped into the bar room carrying something that vaguely would've reminded a pie if it hadn't been so gooey. "Oh, Gintoki-sama, might I inquire you if you are knowledgeable about the time? The bar has been closed for thirty-two minutes and forty-six... no, forty-seven seconds. Do you require guidance to the door?"

"It's fine Tama," Otose said. "Let him be as long as he wants tonight."

"Understood, Otose-sama. However, in consideration of your injured state, might I recommend you to rest? I will take over instead."

"Nah, that's fine Tama, I was leaving anyway. Thanks Granny," Gintoki said and got up pointing at the empty sake glass, but Otose could tell that sake wasn't the only reason he was thanking her. Then he left the bar leaving Otose and Tama looking at the closed shoji doors.

"Otose-sama? Will Gintoki-sama be all right?"

Otose smiled. "Yeah, he should be fine now."


End file.
